I have a friend who’s in several Entrepreneur masterminds… but confessed to me he never feels comfortable in them. I was actually shocked to hear this successful CEO doesn’t feel comfortable around other people (who aren’t his family or super close friends) in general, almost all the time.
He feels weird, like he can’t fully connect. He never knows what to say. He’s wondered if it’s because he just doesn’t LIKE people, or if he has imposter syndrome, or if he’s just a bad conversationalist. So he ultimately ends up feeling distant and uncomfortable in group or public settings.
I got to spend time him over this past weekend, and after he pondered whether it was all because he was, “just an introvert,” he let it slip how he feels it’s simply NOT OK to ask people private questions.
My eyes popped wide open.
I asked him:
“You definitely didn’t come out of your mom on Day #1 thinking that — so where in the world did you first discover THAT to be true????”
He thought for a moment, then smiled as it dawned upon him.
He shared with me how, when he was growing up, his father was a surgeon who would repeatedly model not getting close to his patients, to protect his emotions in case they would die. His father would model never asking personal questions to others and would create distance by keeping everything ultra-high surface level. His father would then tell him to do the same.
Well now, this all is starting to make a lot of sense, isn’t it?
Just KNOWING interesting childhood stories like this can be insightful, but it doesn’t actually solve anything at all though.
So, we worked together that evening, Mindfixed his pattern, and when done, he smiled and shared that he felt lighter.
Then, last night (48 hours later), he sent me this text:
“I’m grabbing a bite at the airport and just talked to this little old lady for like 15 minutes. Normally, I don’t talk to people. I don’t care about them. I was asking her about her trip. Maybe asked about her feelings too! Showed her pics on my phone. I don’t do that shit. Or at least I didn’t. Felt so different. Felt good. I’m proud. This is who I want to be.”
How cool is that.
The shifts that happen when we commit to changing the patterns that hold us back are so, so beautiful.
The changes start cascading outward immediately.
New ways of being happens with ease and flow.
It’s incredible to watch, and it never, ever gets old.
It’s my hope that everyone I know will get the delight of experiencing rapid change and growth at some point in their lives.
When you're sick and tired of getting in your own way, and you know you're capable of SO much more, it's time to talk to us.